I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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