so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Watching her eat just hurts me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
