So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
