I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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