I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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