One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
