They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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