420 ftw
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
