i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
