I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
