I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
