i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
