So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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