UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
