omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
