maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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