you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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