Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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