guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
