i don't like sucking hair
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
