she was so not down for the gang bang
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
