so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
