More tranny stories later!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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