16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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