How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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