hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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