I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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