OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
