Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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