To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
