PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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