Cold hands, warm shart.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
