i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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