we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
