Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just had sex on a roof
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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