i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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