...so i touched it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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