The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
