Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
