I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
