Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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