well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
