Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
