Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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