Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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