I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
