i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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