Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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