the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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