Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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