drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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