guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We need a shit load of segways right now
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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