at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
