yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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